I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
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