is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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