oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
