she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
how drunk are you?
Several
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
