I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
I have grass duct taped all over my body
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
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