Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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