And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
