Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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