It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Randomize
