apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
Is it because I queefed?
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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