I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
