best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Randomize
