I wish i was in the wii world.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
