im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Randomize
