he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Randomize