Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
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