I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
