i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize
