I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
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