would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
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