Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
i love accidental penises.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
