It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
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