I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
