Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
I cut my penus on the lid.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
