Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
