I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
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