grandma shit on top of the toilet
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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