hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
