He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I am naked and annoyed.
Randomize