Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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