It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Randomize
