Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Randomize
