At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
