One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
