It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Randomize
