I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Randomize
