that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Randomize
