i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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