We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
