so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
