you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
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