You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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