So gin and wine won't be happening again
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
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