? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
