thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Randomize
