There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Can I color on your dick again?
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
