College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
im holly from the hills drunk
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
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