you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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