wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
