Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
