The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
