I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
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