I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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