Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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