is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Please don't give away my fajitas
Randomize
