I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
