a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
