You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
