is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
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